I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
We are all done wearing pants today
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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