there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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