We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
