You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize