and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
