So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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