i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
