that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
