I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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