I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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