I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize