My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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