There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i think i have two assholes
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
