Your dad touched me again.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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