why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
