Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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