why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
