Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
