He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
