batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
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