man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
