Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
too bad you live with your parents still
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
How drunk are you?
Completed.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
