honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
