so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
