One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
