That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
