Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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