I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I am one with the molecules
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
