Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
