I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
