Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
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And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
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I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I forget how to act sober
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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