I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
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We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
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SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
i need some magic done to my vagina
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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