when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize