sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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