ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
so explain again why im purple
no
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
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