I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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