How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
