do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
