Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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