we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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