I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
