I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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