My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
