Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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