Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
