And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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