hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
