is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
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