I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
