I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
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It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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