ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
