Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
